


residuique consumpti amicus

by lolwhat (JkWriter)



Series: musical sadness [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, he cares too much, poor Jared
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:32:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JkWriter/pseuds/lolwhat
Summary: jared doesn't want to be forgotten





	1. Chapter 1

Jared wasn’t the best person. He knew that. Evan and Connor knew that. Actually, everyone knew that.

Jared was a pretty awful person at times. He was desperate for attention and would go to ridiculous lengths just to be sure his friends _(who are you trying to fool. they’re not your friends, jared. they’ll forget about you the second graduation is over)_ still remembered he was there. He was loud, abrasive, and not too caring when it came to feelings. He didn’t care what he said as long as it got a reaction, until he was alone and went over everything detail of what idiotic things came out of his mouth. Jared was lucky they hadn’t dropped him yet, he was obviously just dragging them down.

They, or at least Evan, had an idea of Jared’s self-doubts and went out of his way to include him. This eventually led to weekly movie nights at the Hansen household. They alternated on who got to choose the movie. Jared always skipped his turn. He worried about choosing something none of the others would like. If that happened then they might decide they hate him and stop the movie nights. Jared didn’t want that. He didn’t trust himself alone on the weekends, not anymore. So he did everything he could to insure the movie nights kept coming.

They always had fun, at least Jared thought they did. It might be why he was so confused when Evan canceled. “My moms off Friday, we haven’t had a Friday together in years so I wanna spend it with her.” Evan had said. Jared shouldn’t have been surprised when Connor backed out. “Zoe and I are being dragged to some family thing. We’ll be back next week.” Without Evan, Connor had no reason to fight whatever it was his family was invited to. And that left Jared and Alana. They could hold a conversation, but neither of them were comfortable enough without the others around. It made sense that she canceled and for the first time in months Jared was going to be alone on a Friday night. Which was fine. Really. Jared was almost eighteen, he could survive a Friday night by himself.

Except he really couldn’t. His mom hadn’t even left for work yet and he was already anxious. People looked at their group and always assumed Jared was the most put together. Evan was a walking disaster, Connor was depressed and made sure everyone knew about it, Alana had control problems, and Zoe always looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown. Even his own friends seemed to assume that he was always okay like his jokes weren’t a way of coping with stress and his overwhelming desire to disappear.

Jared was sitting on the living room floor working on a puzzle his mom had bought him a few years ago when there was a knock on the door. He didn’t want to get it but his mom was somewhere in the back of the house still getting ready. Jared pushed himself off the floor and walked over to the front door. He took a second to mentally prepare himself and swung it open.

“Hi, Jared! Is your mom ready?”

Jared couldn’t have expected a lot of people to be on the other side of the door. Heidi Hansen was not one of them. Especially not Heidi Hansen dressed in her scrubs like she was going to work. That wasn't right. Evan said she was off. Evan wouldn’t lie to him, would he?

_Of course he would. He’s tired of you. They’re all tired of you. They just wanted an excuse to get rid of you._

No. Evan wouldn’t lie to him. This had to be some sort of mistake. Maybe Jared got the days wrong? No, it was definitely Friday. Maybe Evan got the day wrong. Maybe Heidi was off tomorrow. But why wouldn’t Evan have texted him? They could have still hung out without Connor and Zoe, maybe Alana would have come.

“I thought you were off?”

Heidi looked confused. “No, not today.”

“Oh,” I told you. “My mom will be out soon. You can come inside.” Jared went back to the floor and started picking his puzzle up. He didn’t want to work on it anymore.

“Jared, sweetheart are you alright? Don’t you usually hang out with Evan and Connor on Fridays?”

“I guess.” He slid the box under the couch. “Can you tell my mom I’m in my room?”

Jared didn’t wait around to hear Heidi’s reply. He felt sick and really didn’t want her to confirm his suspicions. He stumbled up the stairs to his room and picked up his phone from where he had dropped it when he got home earlier. He didn’t have any new messages. He wasn’t expecting any because everyone was supposed to be busy.

**to: ev**  
**im boredddddd**  
**hows your thing with heidi going**

Jared set the phone on his bed and stared at it. Evan didn’t like keeping people waiting meaning he’d respond as soon as possible. Meaning Jared would have an answer. But Jared wasn’t sure if he wanted the answer.

**from: ev**  
**I’m sorry. It’s going fine. She says hi by the way.**

**to: ev**  
**cool.**

**from: ev**  
**Jared, are you okay?**

Jared ignored Evan’s text. And the next one. Because Evan didn’t care. Evan lied to him. Jared didn’t know how to feel. Evan doesn’t do these kinds of things. Not to him. Except maybe he did. Had Jared finally pushed Evan to hate him? That had to be it. Evan hated Jared.

Jared started packing a bag. His dad lived forty-five minutes away. His next visit wasn’t supposed to be for another two weeks but Jared knew his dad wouldn’t mind if he just randomly showed up. It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened. He packed his laptop but left his phone on this bed. He didn’t need it. He could call his mom from his dad's phone. The fact that Evan was calling his phone for the third time in a row helped him make his decision.

Heidi and his mom were talking in the living room when Jared came down. They both looked at him with varying levels of surprise. His mom’s faded more quickly. She sighed and picked up the landline. “I’ll call your father and let him know you’re coming. Are you taking the bus?” Jared nodded. “Heidi, could we stop by the bus station and drop Jared off?”

“Of course. I’ll um, I’ll start the car.”

Heidi looked like she wanted to say something else but didn’t. She walked out the door leaving Jared and his mom. His mom was talking to his dad on the phone. He was shifting from side to side, not really paying attention to what she was saying. He hated hearing other people talk about him.

“How come you’re going over there, honey?” His mom asked once she hung up the phone. Jared knew this was coming but he had been hoping to avoid it. He didn’t want her worrying because then she’d text his dad and he’d be worrying all weekend.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

“I just don’t want to be alone.”

His mom nodded in understanding. Jared wondered if Evan and Heidi could have unspoken conversations like this. Probably. They probably had bigger ones. Evan had actual problems, not like Jared's stupid issues.

“Do you have your medicine?” Jared shook his head. His mom walked to the cabinet and pulled out the extra bottle. “Phone?” He shook his head again. She sighed again but didn’t tell him to go get it. Jared hoped she understood. “Let’s go, Heidi and I are going to be late.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Jared. I’m glad you’re doing this. I’d rather you be safe with your father than alone here.”

That didn’t make Jared feel better. The ride didn’t make him feel better because the bus station was past the Hansen house. He didn’t mean to stare at it. He was really just looking out the window. But that meant he saw Connor and Alana’s car in Evan’s driveway when they drove past. The sick feeling he had ever since Evan first told him he wasn’t coming was weighing down on him more than before. Because this was the proof he didn’t want. The proof that they didn’t care about him.

Jared got out at the bus stop with a promise to call his mom when he got to his dad’s house and be home before midnight on Sunday. He smiled and waved as the car drove off. Then he sat on the bench and cried.


	2. Chapter 2

Evan realized half an hour in that it was awkward without Jared. No one knew what to say. They were silently watching the movie. Most of the conversation was usually started by Jared and without him here they were just sitting in a semi-circle staring at the TV. 

He doesn’t remember whose idea it had been. One of them mentioned not inviting Jared to their weekly movie night. Evan had protested at first but they had some compelling arguments. Jared was the only one in their group who wasn’t dating someone else. With just the four of them, it could be a double date. And it was great. Sort of. Not really. Evan wasn’t having a fun time. 

He hated lying, especially to Jared. Jared was his best friend. Jared had always been there even when he insisted they were just “family friends”. If Evan needed anything he could count on Jared being a phone call away. Now it wasn’t just him and Jared, they had the others, but Jared held a special place in Evan’s heart. Which is why he should have said something about not inviting him.

“Evan?” Evan sat up from his spot next to Connor to look at his mom. “I’m going to go ahead and head out. Call me if you guys have a problem.” She looked over the group. “No Jared?”

“Um, not this week. We’ll call, bye mom, love you.” Heidi smiled at him. Evan didn’t deserve it. He used her to get out of inviting Jared. 

Once Heidi was gone they continued to watch the movie in silence. 

Zoe was the first one to speak up. “Alright, this is awful. Someone needs to say something.” 

“What the fuck are we supposed to say?” 

“I don’t know, Connor. Anything would be better than this awkward silence.” Zoe paused the movie. “Seriously, are we usually this quiet?”

“Not usually, no. We’re not rewatching a movie either, therefore the commentary should be new.” Alana sat up and stretched. 

Evan looked down at his hands. The three of them continued to talk about what might be wrong. Evan didn’t need to speculate, he already knew. 

He welcomed the distraction of his phone. 

 

_**from jare:** _   
_**im boredddddd** _   
_**hows your thing with heidi going** _

Evan frowned. There were two ways he could answer this. He could tell Jared the truth, that his mom was working and he was spending time with the others, or he could lie. He didn’t want to keep lying to Jared but wouldn’t it be better at this point? Jared already thought he was with his mom, there was no need to upset Jared with the truth now. 

_**to jare:** _   
_**I’m sorry. It’s going fine. She says hi by the way.** _

He didn’t have to wait long for a response. 

_**from jare:** _   
_**cool.** _

That didn’t sound sincere when he read it. Jared never really sounded sincere but Evan could usually tell if there was a problem. 

This seemed like a problem. 

_**to jare:**_  
_**Jared, are you okay?**_

Jared read the message but didn’t respond. Evan was officially not okay. Jared never left Evan on open. He knew it worried Evan and always made sure to tell Evan he was leaving the conversation. Evan immediately thought back to earlier in the day. Had he said something to Jared that gave away the fact that he was lying? He didn't think so. He had been extra careful to avoid talking about their usual Friday night movies during lunch. None of the others had brought it up either. He couldn’t imagine what had given Jared a clue. 

“Evan, you okay?” 

“Huh?” Connor was staring at him. Which meant Alana and Zoe were also staring at him. They all shared the same concerned look. “I’m fine. I’ll be right back.” 

Evan had hoped to slip out of the room by himself but the others followed. He didn’t pay attention to them and instead called Jared. 

The phone rang and rang until it went to voicemail. So Evan called again. And again. 

Connor was the one who stopped Evan from calling a fourth time. “Evan, who are you calling?”

“Jared.” 

“Jared? Why?” 

Evan stared at Zoe. Then Connor. And then Alana. And they all stared back at him with blank expressions. It was like they didn’t realize what was wrong. Maybe they didn’t. Maybe Evan was the only one who noticed Jared and they only noticed the noise he made. They did have a habit of ignoring his comments and making their own. That frustrated him. 

“Because he’s what’s missing! You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed. Jared is the one who suggested these movie nights in the first place and then we went and essentially told him not to come. Jared’s not answering my calls and I’m worried something’s wrong.” 

“I’m sure he’s fine, Evan. Jared ignores my texts sometimes.” 

“No, somethings wrong, Alana. You guys don’t know Jared like I do. This was a mistake. We should have never excluded him. I’m going to check on him.” 

Evan wasn’t surprised Connor offered to come. “I’ll come with you.” 

“You don’t have to. I know you and Jared don’t get along.” 

“Are you planning on walking there?” Evan looked down. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Exactly. I’ll drive you. Grab your jacket, it’s cold out.” 

“We’ll come too. It’d be awkward sitting around at your house without you.” 

Evan wanted to laugh. He wasn’t sure why. Was it because all of these people who essentially forgot Jared existed suddenly wanted to be sure he was okay? They looked guilty. If Evan didn’t know any better he’d think they felt bad but none of them liked Jared or if they did they never expressed it. To them, Jared was just Jared, Evan’s friend. 

“Fine. But you have to stay in the car. I don’t want to overwhelm Jared.” 

Zoe looked like she wanted to argue but Alana nudged her and she didn’t say anything. Evan took the lead for once and lead the group outside. He didn’t want to waste any more time. Not when something was wrong with Jared. 

The ride to Jared’s house was silent. Alana had tried initiating a conversation but no one picked up on it. Evan felt bad and had the circumstances been different he would have tried talking to   
her but he couldn’t right now. His mind was too preoccupied with Jared. _JaredJaredJared._

Jared’s mom's car was in the driveway. Which was weird. Jared’s mom worked every Friday, she had since they were kids. Jared hadn’t mentioned a change in her schedule which meant she should be at work. But she couldn’t be at work if her car was in the driveway unless… 

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.” 

Evan was out of the car before Connor had fully stopped. He ignored the surprised shouts and ran to the side of the house where he knew Jared kept the spare key for the back door. He grabbed the key and was in the house before the car had been turned off. 

“Jared?” 

The house was quiet. Too quiet. Evan could already tell Jared wasn’t here but he had to check. He walked through every room looking for any sign of Jared. He saved Jared’s bedroom for last.   
He found Jared’s phone on the bed and his drawers thrown open as though he had gone through them quickly. He probably had. Jared’s backpack and laptop were also gone. 

“Fuck.” 

Evan left through the back. He locked the door and dropped the key back in its spot. Evan quietly climbed into the car. 

“Is Jared…?”

“He’s not here.” 

“Well, where is he then?” 

“I don’t know, Connor. His phone was on his bed but his backpack and laptop were gone.” 

Connor was driving again. Evan didn’t know where. He stared at his hands. “You started freaking out a bit when we got here, care to explain why?” 

Evan looked up. “His mom works on Friday’s.” 

“So?” 

“Her car was in the driveway.”

Alana’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. Does she carpool with Heidi?” 

Evan nodded. He fucked up. They all fucked up and now Jared was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should really work on retro ad at some point


	3. Chapter 3

Spending the weekend at his dad’s house wasn’t horrible. Jared didn’t hate his dad, they just didn’t have a lot in common. His dad wanted to hang out and do stuff while Jared wanted to hide in his room and wallow in self-pity. 

Apparently, that was bad for him. He only managed to hide until Saturday afternoon. 

“Jared, you need to come out and eat something. And take your medication. Your mother would kill me if she found out you weren’t taking it.” His Dad was standing in the doorway. It wasn’t really a doorway. It was just a hole in the wall. There hadn’t been a door there since Jared decided to drink half a bottle of vodka his sophomore year and ended up in the hospital for a week. 

“Why does it matter?”

His dad sighed. Jared felt bad. He was trying his best with a hopeless case. Jared should feel special. Or honored. His parents hadn’t given up on him yet. Instead, he just felt sort of numb. Like none of it was real. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe Jared was still in the hospital and this was all a vivid nightmare.

“We care about you, Jare. C’mon, eat something and then take your medicine. You don’t have to go out if you don’t want to, but try to not sit in the dark all day.” 

Jared swallowed. He could do this. It was easy. Get up, walk to the kitchen, and take the medicine. 

“Okay.”

—

The weekend passed quickly after that. Jared doesn’t remember most of it. He thinks he talked to his mom over the phone a few times. He also might have made plans to come again the next weekend. 

His dad dropped him off Sunday night. His mom was already gone for work. Jared shouldn’t have been surprised when he got inside and his door was gone. She didn’t trust him and that’s fine. He just wished that lack of trust extended to her taking a night off work. 

Jared dropped his bag and face planted onto his bed. Someone had been in his room. Everything looked fine, untouched, but it was off. Jared could tell something was wrong. A part of him wished it was Evan. Maybe Evan realized that not-inviting Jared was a mistake and they all came over. Jared doubted that had happened. They probably had a great time without Jared there. He was the odd one of the group. The only person who cared about him was Evan and that’s only because he had to. Evan didn’t need him anymore. Evan had actual friends who didn’t lie to him because they couldn’t handle the fact that they only had one friend. 

Jared picked up his phone. It was plugged into the charger. He’d have to thank his mom for it later. He had notifications on his phone. A lot of notifications from the whole group. Jared wished they cared this much when he was still there. 

—

Jared was in the middle of stuffing his books into his locker Tuesday morning when he was finally confronted.

“Jared!”

Jared froze. Because that was the voice of one of the few people he had been going out of his way to avoid. He really hadn’t wanted to talk to any of them but he couldn’t ignore Evan now that he had been seen. 

“Oh, hi Evan.” 

“Where were you yesterday? Why didn’t you answer your phone? I went to your house Friday night but you weren’t there.” 

“I’ve been around. My phone kind of broke.” Jared had thrown it against the wall when he got back home Sunday and saw the messages and voicemails. “I went to my dad’s house this weekend.” 

Evan was staring at him. It was like he didn’t believe what Jared was saying. Jared guessed he sounded and likely looked, a little bit crazy. He hadn’t slept much that weekend and it was showing. 

“Why would you go to your dads?” 

Jared wished Evan would go away. He really didn’t want to talk to Evan about his problems when ninety-percent of them started with him. 

“Because I was bored. Any more questions?” Evan looked like he wanted to say something else. Jared didn’t give him the chance. “Good. I’ll see you later.” He slammed his locker shut and pushed his way through the hall. 

The world must have been against him. Jared was planning on avoiding this, it should have been easy. Alana and Zoe sat in the front of the class while Jared sat in the back. Of course, today was the one day they decided to finally take him up on his offer of joining him in the back. He did his best to ignore them. It was kind of hard when they kept staring at him. Jared ran from the classroom as soon as the bell had rung. 

He couldn’t avoid Connor during second. He had skipped this class yesterday knowing that he was going to see him. When his mom found out she told him he couldn’t skip it again so Jared made his way to their shared table by the window. 

Connor was already there drawing. He didn’t look up from his sketchbook when Jared sat down. Jared hadn’t expected him too. He didn’t exactly get along with Connor. He wouldn’t mind being the other teen’s friend but he understood that he wasn’t exactly high on Connor’s list of potential friends. He would be lucky if he made the list at all.

Jared wasn’t paying attention to the class. He was staring at the floor. He started paying attention when Connor scooted his chair closer to Jared’s. He looked up and saw “Group Projects” written on the board. Everyone else was in groups of three or four. Jared guessed no one else would want to work with him or Connor. That’s how it usually went. 

“What do you want to do the project on?”

“I uh, I wasn’t paying attention? To the teacher. I didn’t hear what she said. Which um, what’d she say?”

Connor was staring at him. Just like Zoe and Alana had. 

“You okay? You seem off.” 

“I’m fine.” Jared wasn’t fine. Did he take his medicine this morning? He couldn’t remember. “You pick the topic.” 

Connor didn’t look convinced. “We’re going to do Susan B. Anthony. I’ll go write it down.” Connor got up and wrote their names down on a list Jared hadn’t seen. He really had to stop by his locker and take his pills. Connor came back with a stack of books. “Pick one and start doing research. Write down what you find and give it to me at the end of class. I’ll start drafting up our poster tonight.”

Jared picked up a book. 

He stared at the title. He opened it and started reading. It took two pages before he was distracted. He started to straighten out the table. He sorted the books by alphabetical order. Then by size. He lined his pencils up by brand and color. He got out a sheet of paper and wrote down his name. It looked wrong so he did it again. And again. And again. 

Someone on the other side of the class was talking to their group about meeting up outside of school. They should probably do that. Except Connor doesn’t like him. He wouldn’t want to meet up with Jared outside of school. They’d have to do their whole project in class. Otherwise, one of them would be doing all the work. It’d probably be Connor. Jared was lazy and didn’t do anything right. It’s why he doesn’t have a door. And why he has to take medication. Evan had to take medication too but it’s because he has actual problems. Jared thought his diagnosis would bring him and Evan closer but he couldn’t even bring himself to tell Evan. Because Evan wouldn’t want to hang around someone whose brain doesn’t work. 

The bell rang. People were packing their bags. Jared looked down at his notes. It was four sheets of paper with his name on them. Connor was also looking at them. Connor had a page of notes and poster designs. Jared shoved his papers in his bag and left. He couldn’t talk to Connor. He couldn’t get his medicine either. Evan was standing next to Jared’s locker. Zoe and Alana with making their way towards him. Connor was calling his name. 

And nope. Jared couldn’t deal with this. Not right now.

He turned and ran towards the nurse’s office. Or he tried to. It’s hard to run somewhere when you run into a wall and pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a theatre in raleigh is putting on newsies this summer there goes all of my summer job money


	4. Chapter 4

Evan wasn’t okay. Jared had been in the nurse’s office for half an hour. It wasn’t serious or they would have called an ambulance but that didn’t make him feel any better. He had been sitting in the hallway since Connor had carried Jared to the nurse. Zoe and Alana were also sitting with him. They were having their own conversation. Evan had tried to join in at one point but each time the door opened and he thought Connor or Jared was coming out. 

It was getting close to the end of lunch which worried Evan more. Was Jared okay? Why had Connor not come out yet? It was killing Evan to not know. He found himself going through the various breathing exercises he had discussed with Dr. Sherman. They weren’t helping, not that he expected them to. This was a situation where he should probably take his medication to calm down but if he did that he wouldn’t be able to stay at school the rest of the day. After what happened with Jared he wasn’t sure he wanted to. They were going to send Jared home, they always did in these sort of situations and Jared would need someone to drive him. Evan wasn’t a big fan of driving but he could do it. He would for Jared. 

The door opened. Evan looked up. Connor was stepping into the hallway. He looked down at the three across the hall but didn’t say anything about their position.

“Do any of you know Jared’s locker combo?” 

“I uh, I do. Why?”

“Nurse said to get his medication. Zoloft or something.” 

“Zoloft? Why is Jared taking Zoloft? Did she say why? Is he going to be okay? Connor, what happened?” 

Evan had stood up and was standing in front of Connor. He wasn’t exactly blocking the hall but if Connor wanted to go anywhere he’d have to go around Evan. It wasn’t a problem. Connor could easily pick Evan up and move him. Evan was choosing to ignore that fact. 

“I don’t know. Jared woke up and started freaking out. Ms. Kievel said Jared keeps his medicine in his locker and to get the Zoloft.” 

The explanation didn’t help Evan’s nerves. He had never heard of Jared taking Zoloft. How could he have missed something that big? What was happening to Jared that required him to take the medication? Evan praised himself for being a good friend. He knew Alana’s allergies, Zoe’s favorite band, and how to calm Connor down on a bad day. How could he have not seen something going on with Jared? 

Evan took Connor’s hand. Together the two of them walked to Jared’s locker. Connor was talking. Evan hadn’t been paying attention. It was so easy for him to ignore his friends and worry about himself. This must be how he missed Jared’s problems. He was too busy focusing on his own. He was going to have to stop. Good friends didn’t ignore the other because they had other things going on. Good friends also didn’t uninvite their friend to the weekly movie night because the other three wanted something new. 

“-was so weird. Jared kept zoning out during class. I knew he was kind of absent-minded at times but this was worse than usual. All he did was write his name on four sheets of paper.” 

They stopped in front of Jared’s locker. Evan put in the combo and opened it. He wasn’t surprised there was nothing in front. Jared wasn’t like Evan. He wasn’t going to have his medication sitting out for everyone to see. 

Evan started going through the locker. He took things out and handed them to Connor to hold. He always wished Jared would keep things in order, he really wished that was the case now.

“What is Zoloft anyways?” 

“It’s an antidepressant. I was on it a few years ago, it didn’t work so we switched.” 

“Why is Jared taking an antidepressant?” 

“I don’t know. He’s never mentioned it to me before. Jared used to tell me everything. Why would he not tell me he’s on medication?” Evan stopped and stared into the locker. “Connor, do you think Jared hates me?” 

“What? No. Jared hates a lot of things, but you’re not one of them.” 

That was meant to help but it didn’t make Evan feel any better. 

He found the Zoloft in the back of Jared’s locker underneath two jackets. He recognized one of them as being the one Connor thought he lost a few months ago. Evan vaguely remembers Connor letting Jared borrow it because Jared was complaining about being cold during lunch. He always assumed Jared had given it back and going by the look on Connor’s face, he had as well. 

“Oh, okay.” Connor took both (both? Evan, what else have you missed?) pill bottles and stuck them in his pocket. “Did you know he still had that?” 

Evan shook his head. Connor shrugged and shoved the rest of Jared’s things back into the locker. He didn’t take the jacket so he must not have been too worried about it. That was a good sign. Evan didn’t want Connor to be mad at Jared. 

“What was the second bottle you grabbed?”

“Oh, I didn’t actually look. Um, let me,” Connor handed both bottles to Evan. “Here. You probably know more about them than I do. I mean that in the nicest and most loving way possible.”< /p>

Evan read the labels. “Vyvanse? Can you look that up? I’m not actually sure what it is.” 

“Already on it. Vyvanse is used to treat ADHD and binge-eating. Dosage varies based on patient, et cetra. Does Jared have ADHD? I don't think he's ever mentioned that before.” 

“He's never said anything to me. He didn’t tell me he was on Zoloft either. I don’t think he trusts me anymore. That’s the only explanation. Why else would he not let me know? Oh god, Jared doesn’t feel like he can trust me. I’m a horrible person. And then I went and lied to him last week. He has every reason not to trust me.”

“Hey, Evan stop that. You’re working yourself up. Zoe, Alana, and I are just as at fault, actually more, than you are. You just listened to us. It’s going to be okay.” 

Evan didn’t believe him, but he let Connor try and convince him anyway. It was better than admitting that Jared had every reason to hate him. 

Zoe and Alana were gone by the time they got back. The bell hadn’t rung yet but Alana liked getting to class early when she could. Connor opened the door and let Evan walk in first. Jared was awake and arguing with the nurse when they walked in.

“I’m fine, Ms. K. I don’t need to go home.” 

“Jared, you walked into a walk and passed out. We should be sending you to a hospital. The only reason we’re not is that your mother told us she’d take care of you.”

“Yeah, when I get home. I can’t exactly drive myself home right now so I might as well stay in class.” 

Now seemed like a good time for Evan to step in. 

“I was gonna drive you home if that’s okay?” 

Jared pulled his legs up in the bed. He looked anywhere except at Evan and Connor. Evan tried not to take it personally. He handed the two bottles to Ms. Kievel. 

“Thank you, Evan. And that’s very nice of you to offer to drive Jared home. Mr. Kleinman, I expect you to go home with Evan after you take this.” Jared whined. Evan’s heart broke a little more hearing his friend make that sound. “There is no way around this, Jared. Here.” Ms. Kievel handed Jared a cup of water and the Zoloft.

“Do I have to take it?” 

“Yes, Jared. Get it over with.” 

Evan knew from years of friendship that Jared hated taking pills. Having three people watching him probably didn’t help. 

“There, I took it. Can I go now?” 

“Evan, could you stay with Jared while I run some paperwork down to the office. Connor, if you’ll follow me I’ll be sure you get a hall pass.” 

That left Evan and Jared staring at each other silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this jared has adhd, mild depression, and mild ocd/anxiety and all of his symptoms are based off of people i know with them and like jared they don't tell anyone so you really wouldn't know unless they told you

**Author's Note:**

> give me some sad jared without him being the bad guy gosh darnit
> 
> i spent a good 10 minutes trying to write this title it roughly translates along the lines of "the disappearing friend" or "forgotten" something like that
> 
> join my #PROTECTYOURFAVES2K18 discord to protect your faves cause theyre not bad guys  
> https://discord.gg/Pwah8sR


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